Wednesday, August 15, 2007

WHO's majestic porch

"Van and Bonnie," longtime radio personalities for the local right-wing station, WHO, can be seen in a new television advertisement for Midwest Construction, a local contractor. Midwest has updated the famous(?) "WHO Crystal Studio" at the Iowa State Fairgrounds. Fairgoers are invited to stop by and check out the new surroundings.

The Crystal Studio. Sounds so chic, so futuristic, doesn't it? The name evokes images of sleek modernism, like the Crystal Cathedral in California, or maybe the Crystal Court in Minneapolis, or even the high rises of Crystal City, Virginia, looking out over Washington, D.C. Really, the Fortress of Solitude is what comes to mind.

Or, maybe it just makes you think of a fucking porch:

There's nothing wrong with the building, per se. If I want to add a nice three-season room, I'll definitely consider hiring Midwest Construction for the job. It's the name that's a pretentious joke. Call it the "Panoramic Studio" if you must give it a name. Or the "Fishbowl studio." Or hey, even "The Porch." Imagine how folksy and inviting that would sound in an ad: "Come out and join us on The Porch at the Iowa State Fair."

But instead, it's the Crystal Studio. As the late Merv Griffin would say, "Oooooooooohhh. That's goooood."

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